Reader's Response To:
Gold -Possible Short Squeeze-
April 5, 2006
generated some controversy. Most realized that it was an April
Fool's joke, and on April 2nd Barb put in the telltale "April
The response was amazing and
the comments ranged from anger to compliments. One even proposed
an alternative theory. Some examples follow:
"Wow! It's also the first
day of April, April fool is he who believes this!"
"Are you trying to be
funny, or can gold really turn into lead by radon gas? You don't
elaborate, and have no subject on this article. A poor essay."
"Impossible to be true,
Fort Knox has no gold in the first place."
"As I noted in my message
to Robert Moriarty, the proprietor of the 321Gold web site, your
theory is flawed and thus worthless. I and a select group of
insiders have known for years that the gold foil in Fort Knox
is filled with chocolate. Our elite cartel has been quietly accumulating
chocolate-filled gold coins and bullion shells for decades --
chocolate-filled Krugerands, kilobars, Ducats... you name it,
we have it, in abundance. "
"You must think people
are idiots to believe radon gas can turn gold to lead. Get real
and stop posting foolish items."
"Bob, love it. You've
got the guts - way to go."
"Also there is the effect
of the Vernal Equinox which causes the radon gas to convert the
gold to lead even faster. This is usually at its height on April
1. (A very funny article.)"
"Get a grip!!! Radon does
not turn gold to lead. Before you lose all credibility, say something
to cover this idiotic editorial. And fire the fool who came up
with this idea." [Bob Hoye has just fired himself and has
joined the ranks of the self-unemployed.]
"I am with the US Federal
government. I am here to help you. There is only hot air at Ft.
Knox and not radon gas. There might be some fools gold at Ft.
Knox, but you will never know how much. If you need further assistance
in this matter I can help you with your delusions. - A loyal
"Bob - good stuff - I
can see everyone getting their gold checked for radiation - maybe
I should offer the service myself - give a certificate following
extensive testing that would use up about 5% of the gold submitted."
Thanks for all the response,
but perhaps the biggest and most bitter joke of all has been
the efforts to go the other way and turn lead into gold.
Originally called alchymy,
since the nonsense promoted by the charismatic economist, John
Maynard Keynes, it has been called interventionist economics.
In the late 1500s, the biggest
bank in modern history, "The Fugger Bank", pointed
out that it was mainly government that was gullible enough to
THE FUGGER NEWS-LETTERS
The Famous Alchemist
From Venice, the 1st day of November, 1589
"He is forty years old
and was formerly possessed of no mean fortune, but spent it in
riotous living. Then for a time he was mint-master to the Grand
Duke Francis. From thence he came to the late Pope Gregory, who
held him in great esteem. He thus obtained several thousand ducats.
But when these too had been spent, he became a Capuchin [monk]
and had taken his second vows. But since he could not subject
himself to the strict rule of the order, he absconded without
dispensation (hence the excommunication ban by the Holy Office)
and betook himself to France. There he served several princes
incognito. Latterly he has returned again to Bergamo in Italy
and has exhibited his art in Valcamonica and in a short time
increased his fortune to over and above two hundred thousand
crowns. He has expounded his craft to several persons and it
had got so far that he was prevailed upon to come here of his
free will. Such a host of princes and lords beleaguered him that
he was scarcely safe, although he had a bodyguard of fifty archers.
This man is now here in this city, holds banquet daily for five
hundred people and lives in princely style in the Palazzo Dandolo
on the Giudecca. He literally throws gold about in shovelfuls.
This is his recipe: he takes ten ounces of quicksilver, puts
it into the fire and mixes it with a drop of liquid, which he
carries in an ampulla. Thus it promptly turns into good gold.
He has no other wish but to be of good use to his country, the
From the Dictionary of Science
||A shiny, bright-yellow, ductile and malleable
precious metallic element which resists alteration.
||A gaseous, inert radioactive element, formed
by the radioactive decay of radium.
Mass number (of the most stable isotope) 222; half-life 3.8 days.
The half-life of an April Fools
joke is a half-day.